There were four of us. We had been hired by a scientist type whose identity was kept a secret. We were only told the basics: that he had been working on a combination of LSD and psilocybin in liquid form. They said he’d originally experimented with just the LSD, but his mission required more of the eye-opening head trip of mushrooms, so he began tampering with a psilocybin hybrid. The important thing was that the substance needed to be in liquid form. That was where we came in.
All four of us went through a strict screening process. First they wanted to know that we were excellent sharp shooters. We weren’t allowed to really exchange information, but after seeing some of the guys in action I assumed they were or had been snipers. We were given test after test of trying to hit a ridiculously small target from a far away distance. After we’d proven ourselves capable at doing that, they looked for those of us who appeared the most harmless and unassuming – no warning signs.
I was a bit befuddled when, on the first day of the job, they handed us all bright neon colored water pistols. They were both smaller and more loudly colored than regular water guns. They broke down to us how they had been modified by military weapons experts to be able to have a tremendous amount of pressure when fired so that the substance inside could be shot a much further distance. The size was to conceal it easier, the color to make sure it would be recognized as a toy. They did a good job. Not only were they absurdly colored, but the physical shape of them also had a cartoonish look to it.
Our mission was to go to places where people who were labeled as ‘corrupt’ were, and shoot the psilo-liquid into their eyes or mouth. The creator had also amped up the potency so that a single drop could do the trick. He believed that a psychedelic experience could be beneficial to those in power, but that there were many who, either through fear of the law or social brainwashing, simply wouldn’t take it.
So there we were: sharpshooters running around political events like kids in the backyard on a summer day. We also attended entertainment events, such as the Oscars, to try and open up the minds of the rich and self-absorbed to see ‘how connected we all were’, as our boss put it, but most of those backfired. The entertainment types seemed to just get off on the high without truly grasping the magnitude of it. A few notable exceptions existed, where the person had given large amounts of money to charity after we’d squirted them, or started up a campaign to help people, but mostly we just had actors and musicians rolling around on the red carpet, laughing their asses off. He tried to further tamper with the formula to decrease the body high and concentrate on the mental awakening.
There’d been other mishaps. We’d all watched with a dark sense of amusement when we saw the stories pop up in the news of politicians locked in their rooms for days, rocking back and forth, babbling incoherently, their staff having no clue what was wrong with them. This would probably all seem like anarchic mayhem if we didn’t have our handful of success stories: the people who actually had their believes changed afterwards, and began fighting for what our boss believed was right. We’d had a senator completely change his mind about gay rights once. It was actually kind of amazing to see, being that I was the one who fired a direct shot into his mouth during a speech.
The boss is still tweaking the formula, and we still have cases of people being sent to the nuthouse, but we’re slowly seeing a change. I don’t know how much I believe in the boss’ vision, or how much longer I can deal with the guilt I feel over seeing people previously always in the public eye devolving into catatonic introversion, but I’ll tell you this: it’s a hell of a steady paycheck.